I define insanity as state of perception incongruent with reality. How much or how little the incongruence is just gauges how looney one is. But what defines reality? From a societal stand point, reality has to be heavily shaped by the conscious and unconscious understanding and agreement we have with each other as members of a society. From an individual stand point all of what can be said to be reality is perceived isolated within the mind of the individual. What I find interesting the role logic plays on how one perceives reality. Each person alive prescribes to a particular logic to understand the world around them and make decisions. As we continue to live, we modify our logic internally while it is also externally modified by ideas, things, and those around us. 

I think a combination doubts in my internal and external logic have shredded my sanity. Being conscious of the role my internal logic plays on my reality, I try very hard to maintain sanity by building logic that can support it, and by drawing off all that I can perceive as a positive, or eventually positive in my external realm. I think I have it working functionally, not to say I am sane, just functional in some capacity. Once you go insane you can’t just choose to be sane again, but then who’s to say one chooses to be insane. You go where that rabbit hole takes you and you better expect it to throw you a few false awakenings as well just to get you shook up even more. 

I’ve become fixed a bit on the internal aspect of logic. Truly, how powerful can it be in shaping an individual’s reality? Is there potential for one to completely rely on internal logic while dismissing the external, or is there paradox that makes that inherently impossible? If it were possible, would there be any potential benefit from doing so? Maybe stability from a reality one can create for the self. But creating reality sounds dangerously flirty with insanity. 

Externally, the world wants me to be insane. NOTHING about it makes sense. There is so much beauty in it, so much more that could be, and so so so so so so so much wrong with it. Many people would agree that there are agents within the United States society target certain people to drive to insanity. Being as conscious as I think I am, I certainly feel targeted. And by targeted I mean in a general, societal ostracization type way, not by a specific agency or anything (I’m not that crazy…or am I? 笑)

Between the two realms of logic there is this little gray area of subjectivity that I don’t even want to start talking about. 

Right now I’m just taking each day at a time.